About Gillian
by theshipperlogs
Summary: Gillian Foster has two men in her life, will she be forced to choose between them?
1. Chapter 1

Night and Day

Disclaimer: Lie To Me and its characters do NOT belong to me, but I grateful to those that they do belong to for giving us Cal, Gillian, Loker, and Torres in the first place, Alec though not so much.

Gillian Foster took the last bite of her chocolate cake, closing her eyes and savoring the sweet cocoa as if it were the last bite she would ever taste.

"Was it good for you?" Cal Lightman asked, amazed by his partner's sweet tooth. If he ate like she did, he'd be huge.

Gillian just smiled as an attentive waiter took her dessert plate and refilled her water glass.

"It's the simple joys in life, Cal," she teased. "You should indulge every once in a while."

Cal cocked his head and looked at Gillian for a moment before turning his attention to Alec, her husband, who had been able to join them for dinner at the last minute and was sitting there trying to look like he wasn't uncomfortable.

"So Alec, uh, what's going on down at the state department?" Cal said, trying to make small talk, but failing miserably at it. Alec had talked about work a good part of the evening, but most of what the man had to say went in one ear and out the other. Sometimes Cal wondered if the frequency of Alec's voice was one that didn't register in his brain, like dogs and whistles.

"Busy, the trip to Japan is next week, so arranging schedules to get everything done has been a nightmare," Alec said, taking a sip of wine and giving Cal a perfunctory smile. "'I'll be leaving in a couple of days with the advance team."

"I just wish I were going with him," Gillian answered, covering Alec's hand with her own. I haven't been to Tokyo in ages."

"Well, there just won't be much down time," Alec said. "I'm afraid I won't have time to do anything other than work."

Cal knew he was lying, that was his life's work after all, detecting when people were lying when nothing else could, and Alec obviously had something on his agenda other than work.

"Oh, that's too bad," Cal quipped, folding his hands on the table and leaning in attentively. "The night life in Tokyo is fantastic…I mean I went there right after my divorce, and man, I don't even remember the first week."

Gillian glared at Cal, "Maybe it's a good thing you're gonna be so busy."

"Hey, I'm just saying," Cal defended, just as Gillian's phone beeped ever so lightly.

"Let me get this," she said, looking between the two men. Cal now outright stared at Alec, who was trying to avoid eye contact with him above all else.

"Ok, I can be there in twenty minutes, just make sure he doesn't leave," Gillian said, hanging up and immediately grabbing for her coat. "I've been trying to get Mr. Baker in for a week, and he just showed up at the office out of the blue. Loker's entertaining him, so I have to get there before I lose him."

"Anything I can help with?" Cal said, looking up at her, desperately hoping she would say yes.

"No, I'm fine, are you coming back to the office tonight?" she asked, knowing it was almost 8 and that Cal had been in the office since 6 this morning.

"Yeah, Emily's at her mom's tonight, so I thought I'd torture Torres some more," Cal said, slight smile at the corner of his mouth.

"I'll see you later then," Gillian answered with a smile knowing how much he liked giving his new protégé' the run around, then looked to her husband. "I'm not sure when I'll be home."

"I have to go back to the office anyway," he replied standing up to give her a quick kiss, before she made her way out of the restaurant.

Cal watched Gillian leave and immediately looked around for the waiter. He didn't see him and wondered for a minute if he could just leave. Alec could pick up the check or hell, he knew the chef, and he could always pay later.

"I'm kind of glad Gillian got called away," Alec said, looking up at Lightman, more confidence in his eyes than Cal had seen in a long time. "Cal, we need to talk."

Cal sized him up, "About what."

"About Gillian…."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See part Uno.

A/N: This takes place before "Blinded" and future chapters will lead through "Sacrifice".

Chapter 2

Cal looked at Alec incredulously, he didn't know if he could sit there and listen to this man lecture him on Gillian.

"What about Gillian?" he finally managed to respond.

Alec looked down at his hands as if summoning the courage. Cal Lightman was a formidable man whose reputation for confrontation was well known, it was one of the reasons Alec had chosen a public place for this. He knew he wouldn't make too much noise in a place where he and Gillian were regulars.

"Gillian told me she told you about why I was seeing Christine," Alec began. "I would hope that this information would stay as private as possible. If someone at the state department found out, well, that would be the end of things for me there."

Cal stopped him, "Don't worry 'bout it. That's between you and your wife."

"I wish I could believe that," Alec said, almost forcefully.

"Now, what's that supposed to mean?" Cal asked, his complete lack of respect evident.

"Nothing is ever between me and Gillian. It's always between me, Gillian, and you. I know she may not come right out and tell you, but I've seen the two of you together, and I think you know more about what's going on with my marriage than I do " Alec accused, his composure slowly starting to slip away.

"We can't help but see things, just by the very nature of our work, we do try not to let it spill over into our personal lives," Cal retorted just as the waiter laid the check on the table. He grabbed it and reached for his wallet, knowing that the longer the two of them sat there, the more likely that this was going to end badly.

"You followed me. I know I didn't forget my glasses at that restaurant. You thought I was having an affair," Alec said.

"Are you?" Cal asked watching Alec closely, knowing he was a bad liar and the truth would be written all over him

"What? No, Gillian told you why I was seeing Christine."

"You're lying."

"Well, if I were lying it would be none of your damn business. You just think you know everything and that you're the only one who sees things. I'm pretty observant myself, Cal. Your relationship with my wife is, well, let's just say that the line between boss and employee was crossed a long time ago."

"Gillian would never cheat on you, and if you think she would, then you're a damn fool who doesn't know her at all," Cal spat, trying to reign in the not so sudden urge to punch this guy in the mouth.

Alec rose and slipped on his coat, and softened his look, "Look, I have to go. I'm telling you though, you're too close, and I want you to step back. I know you won't do if for me, so do it for Gillian."

Cal look up belligerently," Or what?"

"Don't make her choose," Alec warned confidently. "You may not like the end result."

Alec left before Cal could tell him that he was the one that he might not like the outcome, but Cal would never put her in that position. He needed Gillian. The Lightman Group would never be the same without her. He could hire other psychologists, but no one like her.

The waiter brought back his credit card and Cal signed the slip, Alec's words still reverberating through his head. _Don't make her choose… _But his phone interrupted the thought. Pulling it out of his pocket, Cal looked at the caller id. It was his ex wife; it was Zoe.

"Hey, luv," he said. "What's up?....Sure, what time will she be back?…All night…Alright, see you in a bit."

Cal hung up the phone, laid a twenty on the table, and walked out. He gave the valet his ticket and waited for him to bring the car around. Zoe was waiting for him, as was the habit of late. They were seeing each other again. Well, they were sleeping together again, being careful not to be too obvious around Emily. He definitely didn't want to get his daughter's hopes up that her parents were getting back together, but he did have to admit that being a family again was nice.

He took the keys from the valet and headed west. He just wished the thought nagging at the back of his head would give way. He knew Alec would never physically hurt her and he was probably even too big a coward to tell her about the conversation they'd just had. But as he drove toward Zoe, Cal couldn't help but be worried **about Gillian.**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Note: This one took a long time to write. When the show went on hiatus, so did my muse. She's back now, I think. Hope you enjoy…

Chapter 3

Some random 70's pop tune uncharacteristically filled the office as Cal poured a glass of whiskey and sat the close to empty bottle down on his desk. He downed two fingers of what used to be Gillian's stash of the good stuff. It had been too long a day, and he'd had enough of babysitting. It had been a quiet and idle hands are the devil's workshop. Loker and Torres both had loads of potential, but harnessing that was sometimes a bitch. Things had been a lot simpler when it had been just he and Foster and a small office on the second floor of a non descript building in Arlington. Now they had a full staff, internationally known clients, and more responsibility than knowing lies and truths.

"I wondered where that went," Gillian said, walking into his office and pointing at her missing bottle.

"You left it, last time," Cal said, pouring them both a glass and finishing off the bottle.

"I know what to get you for your birthday," she retorted, taking a seat and the glass.

"I'm easy to please," he smiled sarcastically

"Like the tunes," Gillian replied, pointing to his computer.

"Emily's doing," he said. "I think she put every cd I own on here."

"She takes good care of the old man," Gillian teased, sipping her drink. "I heard about Loker and Torres today."

"Yeah, Loker having a wee bit a trouble being the intern, and Torres is having a little fun with it," Cal said, looking at Gillian, studying her. He desperately wanted to tell her about his confrontation with Alec the night before, but he would never do that to her. He had also decided that he wouldn't let Alec dictate his friendship with Gillian. They were close, and if he had anything to do with it that was a fact of his life that would never change.

"What?" she asked, noticing that he was looking at her even more than usual.

"Nothin'," he answered. "Just thinking."

They just sat there, nursing their drinks listening to music, that is until Cal's phone rang and he answered it.

"Hey...in a bit...yeah, I won't forget...soon...bye."

Cal hung up the phone and glanced over at Gillian.

"Zoe?"

"Yeah," he admitted. Gillian nodded her head.

A few minutes passed, Gillian got up out of her chair and smiled down at Cal like the cat that ate the canary.

He could tell everything she was thinking in that one smile, and he couldn't help but smile in turn. She knew him too damn, bloody well. Next came the laughter that neither of them could stifle. It was something that didn't happen very often but when it did, neither of them could stop it until tears came, they'd laughed so hard. And just when, they thought they were done, Cal wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at Gillian and busted out laughing all over again.

It took a few moments, but they'd finally settled down when the "Copacabana" began playing and started it all again.

Gillian held out her hand to Cal, who took it, and the two began dancing across the room to Barry Manilow. Gillian was wearing a dress that day that just happened to twirl around her body when Cal spun her. Neither one of them were particularly great dancers, but they moved well together. It wasn't the first time they'd danced together after all.

The song came to an end and immediately moved to the Bee Gees, "I Want to Be Your Everything."

Cal put his arm around her waist and pulled her too him. Holding one hand, he could feel the heat from her other hand on his back. She moved perfectly against him and in her heels they were the same height. It was the closest they'd physically been in a long time and felt good. They seemed to touch all the time, it's just the way it had always been with them, but for most of their friendship, they'd each been married to other people. It was when Cal spun Gillian around for the second time that he caught something out of the corner of his eye...Alec, standing in the door.

Cal stopped, and it took a minute for Gillian to see the reason.

"Alec," Gillian said, looking from Alec to the computer, where Cal was already turning down the music. "Bad day, just blowing off some steam."

"I see," he said, smile fading as he looked over to Cal.

Cal just nodded, seeing the rage under the composure that Alec was trying to keep.

"I thought I'd see if I could take you to a late dinner," Alec said, finally looking back at Gillian.

"Sure," Gillian answered."I just need to get a couple of things from my office…Goodnight, Cal, thanks for the laugh."

"Night," he answered, trying to smile.

The two men nodded at each other, Gillian noticing more tension than usual.

The last thing Cal saw as the two left his office was Alec with his hand at the small of her back where his hand had been less than five minutes ago. Cal turned off the office light and looked back thinking of their dance. No Alec wasn't good enough for her, and in truth, no one was.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See Part One

Note: Once again thanks for all of the great reviews and sorry this chapter took a whole week to get up, next one's already in the editing stages, so it shouldn't take so long…Also this takes place the night before the events in Sacrifice.

Gillian stood in front of the mirror trying for the third time to steady her hand, just long enough to get at least a little mascara on her eyelashes. She'd put on the rest of her makeup, but she just couldn't seem to get the last of it in place.

"Screw it," she said to herself, throwing the tube back in the bag and going back over to the suitcase on the bed. Gillian pulled out the one outfit in the bag and held it up, dark and blue, kind of like her mood. Digging out the matching shoes, Gillian was once again thankful she kept a packed bag in her trunk in case of emergencies and that she'd packed something that didn't wrinkle.

Putting the dress on the dressing hook, Gillian slipped off the complimentary hotel robe and was reaching back up for the dress when she noticed the discoloration on her wrist. She held it closer to her eyes making sure it really was what she thought it was, a small bruise. Gently, she ran her finger over purple blemish about the size of a thumb, her mind flashing back to just twelve hours before, when her life as she knew it ceased to exist.

_Twelve Hours Ago...._

Dinner had been quiet and the ride home even quieter. They'd talked about Alec's upcoming trip and the trip they were planning on taking when he got back, two weeks in Italy, a kind of second honeymoon. But it had been apparent all throughout dinner and even now that they were home, that something was bothering Alec.

He was putting his jewelry and wallet in his drawer when Gillian walked into the bedroom and stopped, watching him for the briefest of moments. She crossed and came up behind him, putting her arms around him and pressing her face into his back.

"Want to tell me what's wrong?" she asked her voice muffled, immediately feeling him stiffen as soon as the words were said.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked, unbuttoning his shirt, looking at her through the dresser mirror.

Gillian stepped around and leaned against the dresser looking up at her husband. "Of course."

Alec stared at her for a minute as if deciding what to tell her, "I think it's time you left The Lightman Group. Any agency in town would give you just about anything you wanted or you could even start your own firm."

Gillian just stared at him waiting for the punch line to the joke, but she could tell from the look on his face that he was serious.

"I helped start The Lightman Group," she defended, taking off her jacket and laying it on the bed. "I can't just leave it."

"Or you can't leave him?" Alec accused, turning to look at her.

"Is that what this is about?"she retorted.

"Any other man would have had a problem before now," he said, hands controlled in front of him still very aware of what she did for a living.

"You don't trust me?" she asked gently, more hurt than anything.

"I don't trust him," Alec said, pointing at a nonexistent Cal Lightman. "I told him, asked him to be more considerate of our marriage, and I come in a see you in his arms."

Now angry, Gillian replied, "We were dancing, blowing off steam, something you've seen us do on more than one occasion, and what the hell do you mean you asked him to be "considerate of our marriage"?"

"I told him he's too close," Alec said. "Sometimes I feel like he's just as big a part of this marriage as you and I, and I certainly didn't agree to marry Cal Lightman, Gillian."

"He's my partner," Gillian answered. "And he's been a damn good friend for a long time."

"You may think he's just a friend, Gillian," Alec accused. "But I've seen the way he looks at you."

Gillian digested Alec's last comment. _How does he look at me_? she thought.

"And don't think I'm the only one that's noticed. I've shared enough conversations with his ex wife to know that she wasn't exactly thrilled with the nature of the relationship between the two of you either," Alec continued, his voice now officially raised to shouting level.

"I know what you're saying and it's not true. Our friendship had nothing to do with their divorce. Cal and I are friends and colleagues, that's all we've ever been," Gillian said, matching Alec decibel for decibel.

"Ask him," Alec spat, his forehead tense and his mouth pulled into a tight line.

"Ask him what?" she yelled, her hands in the air.

"Ask him if he wants to sleep with you?" Alec said, not yelling, just accusing. "You know when he's telling the truth."

"What do you want from me?" Gillian yelled, searching his eyes, for the answer.

"I told you, I want you to quit," Alec admitted. "

Gillian shook her head like she was trying to get all of those five words to fit but it wasn't working. "This is my career, what I've worked so hard for; you'd ask me to give all of that up because you feel so threatened by Cal?"

"I can't take anymore, Gillian, work, home, Sophie, him," Alec said. "It's too much and you know just as well as I do, it's falling apart."

"And you think me leaving The Lightman Group will fix all of that?" she said sadly.

"No, but it's a start," Alec said coldly.

Gillian studied him for a minute, a tear rolling down her cheek, wondering how she would react if he reached out for her, if he told her he didn't mean it and that they could go back to the way they had been .

"You're wrong, Alec," she said calmly. "That's not the start of something better, that's the end, because when you ask me to give up something this important to me because of your insecurities, there's really nothing more I can do for you."

Gillian started to walk past him, she needed air and truth be told a large bottle of tequila, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled so that she would have to look at him.

"You may think this is all about me and my insecurities, but you need to take a good look at yourself in this, Gillian. This is more about you than you think. Take a good long look in the mirror," he said finally letting go.

_Twelve Hours later…_

Gillian had put the dress on and finished her hair, now all she needed was her work bag and she could abandon the hotel room for more familiar territory, her office. Picking up the bag and the key card, Gillian took one last look in the mirror and prayed for a light day at work before finally leaving her new temporary home.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Note: Just a short chapter to bridge the fight to the actual use of the word separation. More on the way and some happy stuff too ;o) Thanks for the reviews, I loves me some reviews…

Now that she was entrenched firmly in her parking space at work, Gillian sat in the car waiting for the energy to go into the building. She wasn't sure what was happening with Alec. They been fighting a lot lately, though, and Alec had slept in the guest room more nights than not. He'd been keeping things from her, and while she tried not to use her talents to ascertain his guilt or innocence, it was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

Gillian leaned her forehead on the steering wheel and closed her eyes. She knew that if she didn't go in soon, somebody would start looking for her. She was rarely late without calling. She was so dependable and loyal that Loker had once told her she was probably a golden retriever in a former life. And when her phone rang, Gillian rolled her eyes, knowing that that someone at The Lightman Group was already looking for her.

She looked at the caller id, but not recognizing the number, she answered, "Gillian Foster."

"Mrs. Foster, this is Joseph Hays of the Jackson, Hays, & Beckett law firm," said the male voice on the other end of the line.

"Uh, what can I do for you?" Gillian asked, watching a well dressed man walk across the parking garage and step into the elevator.

"I'll be representing your husband in your separation…"

"Separation?"

"Yes, ma'am, and he didn't know the name of the attorney that would be representing you, so I wanted to see if you could give me the name and number. Mr. Foster would like to have the papers drawn up by the end of the week."

"Of course, uhm, I'm in my car right now, I'll have to call you back with that information this afternoon," Gillian answered, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Of course," he said. "Mr. Foster would also like to know when you will be coming to the residence to pick up your things. He'd like to not be there at that time."

"He's, uh, tell him not to worry, he's never there when I am anyway, but I'll let you know the time when I call you with the name of my…lawyer," Gillian said, hanging up the phone.

_Lawyer, _she thought. It really was over. She'd been gone less than a day and he'd already called a lawyer to draw up separation papers. He didn't waste any time. She'd tried so hard to make it work, to make a life with him. She'd loved him. But she'd had to choose and if she were brutally honest with herself, while she had a hard time imagining her life without Alec, she couldn't imagine a life without Cal at all. The first sob caught in her throat making it feel like she would explode if she didn't let the emotion out, so she did. Heaving sobs racked her body and made her head pound, letting go of the pent up anger and sadness that came with admitting that it was over and that Alec had not turned out to be the man she'd thought he'd been.

Her sobs beginning to subside, Gillian looked in the mirror and tried to do damage control to her makeup. _The day can only get better,_ she thought vowing to keep the tears out of the office and to stop by the vending machine for Twinkies on the way to her office.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Note: This takes place immediately following the events of Sacrifice.

She'd wanted to kiss him, took every last ounce of her waning will power not to, but Gillian knew that it was neither the time nor the place. She'd been separated from her husband for less than a day, they'd just finished saving DC from a madman, alienated a colleague, and on top of that Cal was seeing Zoe again.

Gillian sat at her desk, starring out the window into the dark, at least as dark as it could be in DC. She'd suspected that Cal and Zoe were together again. In what capacity she didn't know, but she knew Cal. And today Emily had said as much. Emily had said a lot of things. Once of which had caught her off guard, and not unwelcome. _He's so much happier when he's with you,_ she'd said…Gillian wasn't sure if Emily was protecting herself from seeing her parents relationship spiral out of control again or if it was something else.

Didn't matter, none of it mattered. Cal was her friend and she wouldn't trade that for anything, not even her marriage. They worked together, and no matter how much attraction they felt for each other, there was a line. They had a lot of lines. They'd been in place for a long time and for good reason.

A few months after they'd first started The Lightman Group, they'd been in Ireland. Working late one night, he stopped working and just looked at her with such an intensity of feeling _._ Her response had been almost visceral. He'd cupped her cheek and leaned into her, but just inches from her lips he'd bent his head. It was the closest she'd ever come to having an affair and to this day he had that way of looking at her, understanding her like no else. That was the night the first line was drawn.

Gillian turned when she heard a knock at the glass door to her office. It was Ray, the late night security guard holding a large vase of flowers. She smiled and motioned him in.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Mrs. Foster," he said. "But the delivery man said these had to be delivered tonight. I couldn't let him in, but I told him I'd bring them up."

"Thank you, Ray," Gillian replied taking the large vase of yellow roses.

"With everything that went on today, I even checked the vase to make sure it was all ok," he assured her.

Gillian smiled at him, "Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you."

"I gotta get back to rounds. It's almost midnight, and Tommy will be wanting to go on his break."

"Good night, Ray" she said watching him walk away before reaching for the card. She hesitated for a moment, part of the fun of getting flowers was wondering who sent them. Most likely it was Alec. He'd called earlier after the first bomb went off and told her that he still loved her. But she'd had neither the time nor the inclination to listen at that moment in time. Finally Gillian read the card. _If you need me… _and even without a signature, Gillian knew who'd had sent them.

She put the flowers on her desk and for the first time all day felt a glimmer of happiness. Finally ready to go, Gillian threw a few things into her bag and left for home, rather her hotel.

She'd had one of her assistants go to her house to pick up a few things, so when Gillian was finally able to get the key card to open the door to her room, she felt relieved and all she wanted was nice hot shower and her favorite pajamas. She laid her bag on the bed and groped for the lamp. Finally finding the switch, she let her eyes refocus seeing another large bouquet of yellow roses, this time on the table by the window. She plucked the card from the middle and read it. _If you need me… _Gillian laughed and pulled one of the stems from the vase. She twisted it between her fingers and smelled it sweet scent.

Sitting down on the bed, she pulled her phone from her purse and sent a text message to Cal with two thank yous, one for each bouquet. She would be able to thank him properly tomorrow. Deciding it was time for that shower, Gillian looked through her bag and grabbed her pajamas, but before she could make it to the bathroom, her phone rang.

She didn't even bother to look at the caller id.

"Hi,"

"Hello, luv," he said somberly. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she answered truthfully. "Thanks again for the flowers."

"I wasn't sure where you'd be," he said almost embarrassed.

"How did you know where I was staying?" she asked, unbuttoning her jacket and throwing it across the room.

"Being on retainer for the FBI does have it advantages," he answered easily.

"You could have asked."

"Too easy."

"You do like a challenge."

Silence.

"I'm sure you have better things to do, Cal. I'm fine," she lied as she undid her skirt and tossed it across the room with the jacket.

"You really are a terrible liar," he said. "And Emily is asleep and I haven't heard any bombs go off in a while, so all is good."

"What about Zoe?"

Cal was silent for a minute before finally answering, "Asleep, curled up beside Emily."

"That's good," Gillian said. "She was really shaken up today."

"Yeah," Cal said. "And Emily was pretty scared too.

"She knows, you know," Gillian said, hoping she wasn't breaking Emily's confidence.

"About what?"

"You and Zoe."

"Damn, she knows, you know, we might as well be having sex on the evening news."

Gillian laughed and said, "I think she just wants to know what's going on. She's afraid…"

"That we'll split up again?"

"That things will be the way they were before. She just wants you to be happy," Gillian said, Emily's words echoing in her ear.

Another silence.

"Do you think it's really over?" Cal said. "With Alec?"

"Truthfully, I don't know, Cal," she answered honestly before taking off her tank top and dropping the phone in the process.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I was getting ready for bed and dropped the phone," she said matter of factly.

All she heard was Cal laughing on the other end.

"What?" she asked.

"Is this the point in the conversation where you charge me $2.99 a minute and I ask you what you're wearing?" he laughed.

"2.99? Is that all I'm worth to you?" she teased and laid back on the bed

"If you only knew, Foster," he said. "If you only knew."

"Must not be worth much if it's one in the morning and you're calling me Foster," she challenged.

"It's that late?" he asked.

"Yes it is, Mr. Insomnia."

"I should let you get some sleep," he said, his tone changing.

"If only," she whispered.

Silence…

"I didn't sleep for a week when Zoe left," he admitted.

"I know."

"If I ask you something, will you be honest with me?" she asked, rolling over to turn the light out.

"If I can," was all he could answer.

"Did Alec ask you to keep your distance…from me?"

She could hear him swallow hard through the phone, before answering, "I'm sorry, luv…Is that what started all this?"

"It's been like this for a while," she confessed.

Another silence.

"You wanna know what I'm wearing?" he said trying to sound serious.

"Good night, Cal," Gillian said playfully.

"Good night, Foster," he said. "Sweet dreams."

Gillian heard the line drop and she ended the call. Laying there in the dark room, she thought about the conversation they'd just had. It was as if he knew she needed that human connection tonight even if it was over the phone. Gillian squirmed around until she was able to untuck the covers and pull them around herself. She unhooked her bra and decided to forgo the pajamas and the shower for the night. She snuggled down in the cool sheets and closed her eyes believing that maybe sleep wouldn't be so elusive after all but the buzz of her phone startled her. That buzz meant that she had a text message, smiling she picked up the phone and looked at the display. But it wasn't Cal's number in the ID, it was Alec's and all the text said was, _Call me. We need to talk._


	7. Chapter 7

Note: Just a couple of chapters left after this one. Thanks to those that reviewed. You make my day ( yes, I know it doesn't take much)…

It was 11 am before Gillian Foster threw in the towel and decided that four straight hours of paperwork was enough for one morning. Considering the case they'd just finished and the way the federal government loved its paperwork, she'd be lucky to finish before the new millennium anyway. She'd been in her office all morning, stepping out only long enough for a coffee. She'd not seen or talked to Cal or Ria. Only Loker had stopped by long enough to complain about finishing his own reports and to let her know that Cal was holed up at Homeland Security and Torres was still at the hospital waiting for Dupree to wake up. On the other hand she had heard from Alec, wbo had left her a voice mail cryptically saying that he still needed to talk her.

Sometimes Gillian thought she just needed a break. A few days away from her everyday life, away from the games they played at work and the ones that she and Alec seemed to be playing in their marriage. Right now they were playing hide and seek and she was winning. Gillian smiled at the thought.

A knock on the door caught her attention, "Dr. Foster, there's a William Brand here to see you. He doesn't have an appointment, but he seemed certain that you would want to see him."

"It's fine, Heidi. You can show him in," Gillian answered happily.

And a few seconds later, Gillian Foster stood as William Brand entered her office with a genuine smile and outstretched arms.

"Gillian, good to see you again," he said warmly, giving her a hug. "It's been too long."

"It has. How are you doing, Professor Brand?" she asked, gesturing for him to take a seat.

"Gillian, how many times do I have to ask you to call me William," Brand said.

"Old habits," she replied with a quick smile. "It's great to see you. What brings you back to the States?"

"Business. I have some meetings later in the week and Ellie and the boys wanted to come, so we made it a family trip," he said "How are you and how's Alec?"

Gillian looked at the ring on her left hand and answered, "I am doing fine and Alec and I are separated."

"I'm sorry, Gillian," he said sincerely. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No but thank you, I'll be fine… so how are Ellie and the boys?" Gillian, changing the subject.

"John is seven and Patrick is four," he beamed, showing her a picture on his phone. "They're doing great and after living there for eight years Ellie's finally decided she loves living in Tokyo."

"That's good news," Gillian said, "I know the first few times I talked to her after the move, she was still a little uneasy about it all."

"Took some getting used to, but living in another culture and seeing a bit of the world's been good for the whole family."

Things were quiet for a minute before Gillian leaned a little closer to her old friend.

"Why are you really here, William?" she asked with a knowing smile.

"Well, I came here for you," he answered truthfully, sitting far back in his chair and using his own background as a profiler to read her.

"Me?"

"Yes, I'm looking for someone to set up a firm similar to the Lightman Group over in London. MI-5 approached me about doing something similar over a year ago, but I just don't have the time. But I've got investors and I already have clients, I just need somebody with the know how and the vision to make it her own. And after I heard what you all did with that terrorist case two days ago, I knew I'd made the right choice."

Gillian just looked at him not knowing what to say, "What?'

"I'm not offering you a job, Gillian, I'm offering you the firm. Your name, your people, your rules, and I can offer you double the money you're making here, plus you'll have a full stake in the company. If it ever goes public, you'll be a very wealthy woman," William said, sweetening the deal with every word. "And I know this may seem like a difficult time to think about making these kinds of changes, but it could be a fresh start, new job, new house, new life."

If Gillian had felt speechless before, now she was absolutely floored. She'd never in her wildest dreams imagined that William would be offering her her own firm when he'd walked through that door ten minutes ago. Her mind kept pouring over all of the details, imagining a life in London with her own firm. There had to be strings attached.

"William Brand, where have you been hiding yourself," Cal Lightman said loudly entering Gillian's office giving Brand strong handshake and a genuine smile.

"Tokyo, how are you," William answered, glancing down at Gillian, who hadn't moved since the offer had be laid on the table.

"Good, good…You ok, Foster?" Cal said softly, looking down at her. "You look a little pale."

Gillian recovered quickly, knowing that Cal would still be able to read whatever emotions were left on her face.

"I'm, I'm fine," she finally uttered. "I just haven't had lunch yet."

Gillian stood, giving a coy smile to both men.

"Let me rectify that," William said, putting a hand to her back. "Let me take you to lunch."

She smiled and nodded, then looked to Cal, "Want to join us?"

Cal looked at the two of them just long enough to know that he would be intruding if he said yes, "I'd love to, but I have debriefings in half an hour ."

"See you this afternoon then," Gillian said reassuringly. "I'll be on my cell, if you need me."

Cal nodded and watched them walk out. Gillian had been nervous and quiet since the moment he'd walked into the room. He knew she had a lot on her mind but he could tell there was more to it than that, and true to his nature, he would find the truth.

Gillian had spent the whole afternoon with William, listening to him lay out his plans for the Foster Deception Company, or the FDC, as he liked to call it. He was already talking about choosing architects for the building when she'd had to stop him. She'd told him she'd have to think about it. It wasn't a decision she could make without thinking it over. There was a lot to consider. And there was Cal. She owed a lot to him. He was her mentor and her feelings for him had grown into something, well, something she didn't have a word for yet. First Alec had told her that she had to chose between him and Cal and now she was having to chose again…Sitting at her desk, Gillian wondered if the fates were trying to tell her something.

"You really should answer your messages."

Startled, Gillian looked up and saw Alec standing in her doorway, "I'm sorry. After everything that happened yesterday, it's just, it's been crazy around here." _And I just didn't feel like dealing with you, she thought._

"I imagine," he said, standing uncomfortably in front of her desk shifting his weight from one foot to another.

"What can I do for you, Alec? Gillian asked gently, noticing that his "tells" were all over the place.

"I wanted to see if you were ok."

"I'm fine," she quickly replied.

"I thought I might take you to dinner," he said, voice almost quivering.

Gillian didn't even look up, "Do you think that's such a good idea?"

"I miss you," he said sincerely. "This is all happening so fast and I think we should talk, Gillian."

She came out from behind her desk and stood beside him.

"I don't want to fight, Alec, I really don't, but you called lawyers. You gave me an ultimatum. I don't see how anything between us has changed over the last two days," Gillian said, her voice low, trying to control the reemergence of emotions that she'd spent a considerable amount of energy trying to keep at bay.

"I just thought that after two days you would see."

"That I should come home and play nice?" she asked, wanting to tell him about the job offer, but knowing better of it. He'd never dealt well with her successes, saw them as his own failures.

"I didn't mean it like…"

"Yes, you did. But you are right, I did see…" she replied, putting her hand on his arm and looking into his eyes. "I saw me without you."

"Gillian," he pleaded.

"Foster."

Both Alec and Gillian turned to see Cal Lightman stride through the door, his normally unreadable face suddenly very readable.

"You ok?" he asked Gillian, briefly glancing at her but focusing on Alec, who was now visibly angry.

"I would like some privacy with my wife, if you don't mind," Alec said forcefully.

"Do you mind?" he asked Gillian.

"It's ok, Cal," she said gently. "Alec was just leaving."

Alec's eyes darted to Gillian, whose eyes where pleading with him to just go.

"I should have known," Alec said.

"Known what?" Cal asked, knowing that if he didn't like the answer a little violence wasn't out of the question.

"For a man who is supposed to be so perceptive, you really are dense sometimes," Alec said, before finally leaving Gillian's office.

"You ok, luv?" he asked, not sure what to say.

"I swear, Cal, if you ask me that one more time…" she threatened.

"Sorry," he replied. "I just don't like to see you hurt."

"No, I'm sorry. It's just that I don't like being this person. I don't like losing control over my life. I hate it," she said, letting out a breath that she felt like she'd been holding for an eternity.

"You got plans tonight?" he asked, running his hand down her arm.

"Work," she said, nodding toward her desk.

"Well tell the boss to kiss your ass, I'm taking you to dinner," Cal said, trying to lighten the load in the room. "Just give me half an hour and I'll meet you here."

Gillian nodded and watched him leave. She sat back down at her desk determined not to watch the clock. It wasn't unusual for them to have dinner, but she knew that this dinner would change her life. She had to tell him about the offer from Brand. She didn't want to take it, but she also wanted him to ask her to stay.

Unfortunately thirty-seven minutes later, she could formally admit that she'd seen every minute as they passed by and as she looked up at the door for the hundredth time, she was beginning to feel the pit of disappointment knot in her stomach.

But before the thirty-eighth minute could pass, Cal was at the door, motioning for her to join him.

Gillian started to get her jacket when he said, "Don't need that."

Her curiosity was now officially piqued as she followed him across the hall, through his office, to the library adjacent. Food from her favorite Chinese restaurant was laid out on the table along with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"You did this in half an hour?" she said smiling.

"And seven minutes. With traffic, I figured it would take us longer to go out to dinner than it would be for me to get them to bring it to us," he said taking a seat across from her.

"Thank you," she said gratefully.

"Well, I figured that since you had already been taken out to lunch by someone offering you a job, I'd bring dinner to you, you just already have the job," he said, watching her closely for her reaction.

Gillian put her wine class down and looked at him, "How did you know?"

"You always want to know my sources," he said, still watching her.

Gillian looked down at her plate and picked up the fork as if it wasn't a big deal.

"He offered me my own firm, in London," she said almost nonchalantly. "My name, my way, lots of cash. Any of that news to you?"

"No, sounds about right," he said, downing his first glass of wine. "What did Alec say?"

She looked up at him amazed at how he could really cut to the chase.

"I didn't tell him," she said.

"What did Alec want?"

"I'm not sure," she said, pouring them both a fresh glass of wine. "He asked me to dinner, told me that he missed me."

"Does he want to reconcile?" he asked, mixed emotions bleeding into the expressions on his face.

"I don't know," she answered. "Maybe."

"Do you want to reconcile?" he asked taking a large drink.

She didn't answer him, just turned the wine glass up and downed the drink in one.

"Is that my answer?" Cal asked, laughing.

"Nope, that's mine," she answered.

"Looks like you have some big decisions to make, luv" he said warmly.

"What do you think I should do?" she asked almost hesitantly.

"It's not my place. This is about you. About what Gillian wants," he said, the searching look on her face almost breaking his resolve not to beg her to stay.

Gillian pushed her plate away, no longer hungry, "It's a great opportunity, for a new start."

"Yes, but Alec will still be there no matter where you are," he said, knowing of his own experiences with Zoe. "You'll always have some kind of connection to him."

Gillian stood up and looked down at him, tears in her eyes, "And what about you? What about my connection to you?"

Cal looked at her, the air between them heavy and electric. He stood up and leaned into her ear. "You keep me sane," he whispered.

Gillian turned her head and brushed her lips over his, very slowly giving him a chance to back away and when he didn't, she deepened the kiss opening her mouth just as a small moan escaped her throat. His hands went to her cheek and her hair. The kiss intensified until breathing was absolutely necessary.

"Come back to my hotel with me," she said, ending their first kiss, their foreheads still touching.

"We can't, Gillian," he whispered, the hand on her shoulder traveling down her back to her waist.

"Can't what?"

Cal and Gillian turned to the voice at the door, and there stood Zoe.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Last chapter…which is most definitely rated T with a capital T. So you have been warned. Now, thank you to all that have reviewed. Reviews are addictive, so keep em coming. And here's to Tim Roth and Kelli Williams who have so much chemistry theat one can't help but write fanfic and made fanvids.

"Come back to my hotel with me," she said, ending their first kiss, their foreheads still touching.

"We can't, Gillian," he whispered, the hand on her shoulder traveling down her back to her waist.

"Can't what?"

Cal and Gillian turned to the voice at the door, and there stood Zoe.

Untangling himself from Gillian, Cal stepped forward almost creating a human barrier between Zoe and Gillian, who still had a grip on his hand.

"What are you doing here?" Cal said, not knowing what else to say.

"Cal, can I see you outside," Zoe answered, as she looked over to Gillian, who was looking to Cal.

Cal nodded and bit his lip. Zoe walked out of the library and Cal followed glancing at Gillian over his shoulder.

Zoe sat behind Cal's desk and glared up at him. As usual, Cal stood there studying her.

"Don't you have anything to say?" she asked, almost as if she were glad to catch him in a compromising position with Gillian.

"Yeah, I kissed Foster," he said, truthfully, what was the point in lying when she'd apparently seen it.

"I believe you when you said you never had an affair while we were married, but…," Zoe said calmly. "I guess I should ask you if you're in love with her, but I think a better question would be, do you even realize that you're in love with her or have been for a long time?"

"Zo…"

"You don't do you?" she asked incredulously. "I've watched the two of you do this dance for years. I know you love me, Cal, but you haven't looked at me like that in years. The only thing that surprises me is that you would pursue a married woman and that little Miss Perfect would taint her marriage vows."

"She and Alec have separated," Cal answered, surprised by Zoe's calm demeanor. She didn't seem angry or sad, just resigned.

Zoe smiled, "Ahh, so Alec is out of the picture and we're not married, so why did you stop yourself in there? You could have had her, you didn't know I was here. The world could have fallen away in there for all the two of you knew."

"I wouldn't do that to you," he whispered.

"You've been doing it for years, Cal," Zoe said, moving from behind the desk to stand beside him. "Have you ever wondered why Gillian and I aren't particularly fond of each other? Or are you just oblivious to it? What about Alec? You and he don't exactly see eye to eye."

Zoe immediately saw the scorn on Cal's face and smiled again.

"You've just got everything figured out haven't you," Cal said, anger overtaken his feelings of guilt. "I think you're confusing and caring for a friend with some illusion you've decided is the truth. Foster is a colleague and maybe a soon to be ex-colleague."

"Surely you can call her Gillian, Cal, you did just have your tongue in her mouth," she said, reflecting his anger.

"You're trying to start something," he said pointing his finger. "Yes, I kissed Foster. I shouldn't have. She's married and we're, hell, I don't know what we are, but.."

"But what?" Zoe said, stepping even closer so that parts of their bodies were touching. "If you can stand there and tell me you want me right now, more than you wanted her…"

Cal looked at her, anger subsiding, he put his hand gently to her face…

It was all Gillian saw before slipping out the other entrance of the library. Stopping at her office long enough to grab her coat and bag, Gillian berated herself for eavesdropping. She just couldn't help herself. In a way, she was just as involved in this as they were. She just couldn't listen to anymore

Gillian never heard him say, "I won't to lie to you, Zoe."

The drive to the hotel was all a blur. She didn't remember stopping for red lights or driving into the parking garage, or even getting out of her car. Gillian didn't really feel anything again until the cold blast of air conditioning hit her in the face when she walked into her hotel room. Throwing her purse on the bureau, Gillian laid on the bed, closing her eyes, wanting to drown out of the minutia playing at her brain. But the one thing she couldn't douse was the sensation of Cal's lips on her own. It was almost as tangible now as it had been an hour ago; the way he felt with his body relaxed against hers, the smell of his cologne. The intimacy she'd lacked in most of her years of marriage to Alec had been found in Cal's arms in two minutes. But then, she'd expected that they would. The night she'd told him that she and Alec were separating, she'd seen it in his eyes.

But it seemed that Cal would always go back to Zoe. They'd shared too much and there was Emily too. Gillian had to think about herself now, her life without Alec and after tonight she knew things would never be the same between her and Cal. Working with The Lightman Group didn't hold the same appeal with out her relationship with Cal, whatever it may be.

"Dammit, Gillian," she said aloud, wiping the tears from her eyes. "You do not need a man in your life.

Gillian darted up from the bed and grabbed her phone from her bag.

Dialing the number and vowing not to lose her resolve, Gillian grabbed her suitcase from the closet and started pulling things from the dresser drawers and piling them into the case.

When she finally got a human voice on the other end, she said, "Yes, I'd like to book your first available flight to London, business class."

Gillian listened to the agent rattle off a couple of options before taking one that left in four hours. She gave the woman her information, got her confirmation number, and threw the phone on to the bed. She was going to New York, in four hours, where she would catch a connecting flight to London. Looking at her suitcase, Gillian mentally listed the rest of the things she needed to pack and in twenty minutes every personal item she had with her was in two bags and her purse. Sitting on the edge of the bed and looking through her purse for her id, she thanked God she'd had her assistant get her passport from the house when she'd gotten her other things from Alec.

Gillian heard the voice before she heard the knock.

"Foster, open the door."

Gillian crossed the floor debating her next actions the whole time. Ultimately she decided that their friendship mean way too much to both of them to let it end like this. It would be hard making a new life in London without some kind of closure with Cal.

She unlocked the door and opened it just enough before walking back into the room, Lightman following close behind. She was fortifying herself for whatever words came out of his mouth. But when she turned to face him, she barely got a glimpse of him before his mouth had descended on hers. His forcefulness scared her for a moment before she abandoned her thoughts and just concentrated on the sensation of him in her mouth. Her entire body became nerve endings powered by desire and adrenaline. His kisses were fast and hungry, just like his hands over her back and in just seconds he was pushing her jacket from her shoulders and pulling her shirt from her skirt desperately searching for skin. He ran his thumbs down her sides, moving his mouth down her neck. His thumbs tucked into the waistband of her skirt worked to pull the material up, all the time kissing her face and neck. Gillian sucked in a breath and moaned on the exhale, mounting desire making her head swim

And all of a sudden, he stopped, held her head in his hands and looked at her carefully, .

"Do you want me to stop, luv?" he whispered.

Gillian wordlessly stared back into his eyes, her hands going to his belt buckle, prying it open. She knew they needed to talk, but they both needed to feel more than anything. It was a language her body and soul understood and one she desperately wanted to teach this man that she loved.

It was all the encouragement Cal had needed. He immediately discarded his shirt wanting to feel her skin on his; he didn't bother with the buttons on Gillian's shirt just pulled it open as the buttons popped across the room. They continued the disposing of each other's clothing until finally they lay in Gillian's bed making several years fantasies come to life. Loker had once said that he didn't fantasize about married women and Cal had looked away, because the woman beneath him had been the object of many of his fantasies. They devoured each other like they'd never see each other again and acknowledging that things would never be the same between them. Fantasy became reality until both of them were spent.

Now lying in bed, Gillian had her head on his chest listening to his heart beating its soothing rhythm. Knowing that the time had come for words, Gillian sat up, gathering the sheet around her and turned to Cal.

He smiled and ran a hand down her arm, God she was gorgeous, hair messy, lip kissed, white sheet wrapped loosely around her body.

"What, luv?" he asked.

"I just want you to know that I'm not expecting this to be any more than what it is," she said.

"And what is it?" he asked, sitting up and kissing her shoulder.

She just looked at him.

"Use your words," he said kissing her on the bare shoulder again.

She smiled again, "I want you to have everything you want, and if that's Zoe..."

"It's been over with Zoe for a long time. You know I have a hard time admitting defeat," he teased running his finger tips down her spine.

"I want you to be happy," she said seriously.

"I'm happy when I'm with you…," he said, pulling her back down on the bed. "I'm happy when I'm touching you. I just thought I could never have you."

He took a minute, his mouth hovering just above hers, sharing her breath, "I am in love with you, Gillian."

A tear rolled from Gillian's eye and into her hair, "You love me?"

"Does that surprise you, luv?' he said, kissing her temple.

"No…It just surprises me that you said it," she admitted, reveling in his closeness.

He laughed. "I think you know I can be full of surprises," he said, letting her know how much he wanted her again.

"This isn't going to be easy," she said, as his lips made their way from her neck south.

"Nothing worth having ever is, Gillian," he said, pulling the sheet out from around her and pulling her to him, making sure she knew that the next few hours were just for them. And then for as long as she would let him, everyone would know how he felt about Gillian.


End file.
